Great Gear: The 2024 HEAVIES Wellness Awards

Not a gift guide. But it could be.

My old colleague at GQ Griffin Funk once tweeted something that I think about often:

Ever since starting HEAVIES, I’ve been incredibly fortunate in that I get new stuff in the mail to try all the time. This is a little crazy to me from a PR perspective, as I am, in my heart, a relentless hater.

97% of the stuff I receive is mid. But, once in a blue moon, I’ll receive something that’s actually kind of cool. Useful. Maybe even great? (And I’m not too ashamed to admit that I buy a fair amount of stuff to try myself.)

And now, dear reader, I’m sharing my favorite things that I’ve unboxed this year in a new, highly edited, extremely considered annual column about stupid good stuff, everything from excellent workout gear to sleep gummies that actually work. Consider this the crème de la crème that made it through my most powerful hater filters.

(If you buy something through one of the links below, I may get a small commission, which goes directly to paying for childcare lol.)

Anyway, presenting the first annual HEAVIES WELLNESS AWARDS.

Absolutely bonkers T-shirt: Running Order Noa Tee ($175)

Earlier this year I wrote about Running Order, a super sick new activewear brand that makes fashionable gear designed for raving. (The pseudonymous designer, Heaven Li, is responsible for making a lot of the gorp-y gear you see cool guys in Soho wearing.) As an appreciator of advanced technical gear myself, I was legitimately blown away by this gender-neutral ultra-lightweight tee, which is made of recycled Italian fabric but feels like nothing I’ve worn before. It’s just so airy, and luxe, and can take a real beating. I’ve been wearing it hard, too: hitting pads at the gym, out on long runs, chasing my kid at the playground. I’m probably a little too washed for an all-nighter at Mood Ring but maybe one day I’ll wear it there, too. It’s expensive. But it’s so well made and considered—the neck reinforcement is just [chefs kiss]—that it justifies every penny.

A surprising high-quality basic workout tee: Reigning Champ Solotex Mesh T-Shirt ($70)

Reigning Champ is a Canadian company that’s been known to make excellent basics, but I didn’t expect to fall in love with this workout shirt, which is cut a little loose and breathes well. Just exceptionally thought out. Eons better than anything Nike or Lulu makes, and a bit more flattering than the really well-done technical gear from more-turbo brands like Ten Thousand (which I like). I wear my RC shirt all the time and it’s getting better with age.

Perfect workout shorts: 3sixteen Running Shorts ($155)

Andrew and Johan, the brains behind one of the best menswear brands around, dipped their toes into activewear this year, and their inaugural offering of running shorts is just so… good. For starters, the material doesn’t feel synthetic like a lot of other workout gear. (These are made from a micro-ripstock fabric, which is stretchy and durable. Hard to trash.) You can feel the intention behind all the design components, from the zipper pockets to the little reflective logo. This is what workout shorts would feel like if you got them tailored. (Am I psycho enough to have done just that to shorts before? Um, yes. Yes I have.)

DIY instant calm: Sakamura 24k Gold-Plated Ear Seeds ($27 for a pack of 300)

You already know: Wearing ear seeds gave me my best sleep in months. Just a super powerful, super low-cost anxiety salve that happens to look cool. But don’t take my word for it: Recently, I was telling one of my muay Thai coaches that ear seeds did magical things for my anxiety, and she was like, Oh, my acupuncturist puts them in for me all the time, especially before a fight. (And here I thought I was onto something…) I also applied them to my wife's ears, and she’s the biggest skeptic of anyone I know… but she swears that they work for her. That ear seeds have a cool liberatory history makes them extremely HEAVIES coded.

Do-it-all barefoot workout shoes: Muteki tabi running shoes ($50)

Over the summer, I made the case that we should probably be working barefoot shoes into our footwear rotations for better foot health, and these running sneakers from Japan hit all the right notes for me: relatively inexpensive, easy to squish into a bag or in your carry on, no socks necessary, and when they get stinky you can just toss them in the wash. In that way they are an ideal travel shoe. Whenever I go out for a run, my legs are thrashed from the workout but look absolutely brolic afterward. Veins just coursing with power.

Sleep gummies that put me right out: Noon Mushroom Gummies ($32)

Jane Kate Wong, the mastermind behind Noon, is onto something with these mushroom gummies, which were made with the help of a small team of neuroscientists. What separates the Noon gummies from other sleep aides I’ve tried is that they don’t just help you doze off; they help you feel fresh in the morning: no grogginess, no melatonin. (If you’re a regular melatonin user, you should probably stop. That stuff fucks with your hormones.) Plus, these gummies taste kind of amazing (not too sweet, fun texture) and work well for me, although I should note that after taking them for a few weeks my dreams have gotten like 15% trippier. That’s a tradeoff I’m cool with.

The best countertop water filter: AquaTru Reverse Osmosis Water Filter ($359)

A few months ago I went down a rabbit hole on water filtration after reading about a study in which scientists found microplastics in the testicles of every male they tested. Not ideal. I considered getting a Berkey water filter—mostly because a few of the homies love theirs—but ultimately decided on the AquaTru countertop system because (1) I didn’t want to have to install an under-the-sink model, and (2) according to all the hardcore water evangelists on YouTube, this thing did the best job at filtering out microplastics, forever chemicals, heavy metals, and fluoride. Honestly, I don’t think there’s a vast government conspiracy to slowly poison the general population or anything; I just think that water infrastructure maintenance is hard and pipes get old. (If RFK Jr. were smart he would send one of these to every household in America.) I’ve been using the AquaTru to make soups, rice, coffee, super-clear ice, and let me tell you: everything tastes better when the water’s better.

Hardcore filtration on the go: Lifestraw Stainless Steel Water Bottle ($48)

I ditched my Nalgene after getting one of these BPA-free metal Lifestraw bottles, which has a membrane that filters out microplastics and other nasty shit. It was a lifesaver on a work trip to Minneapolis recently, when it was late and all the convenience stores were closed and I had to drink from the hotel tap. A very noticeable taste-quality improvement. The only downside is you literally have to sip from it like a straw in order for the filter to work its magic.

NA drink: Ghia Le Fizz ($40)

I’ve been drinking a lot less this year—maybe one a week, if at all—which has created a new problem: most non-alcoholic drinks taste like dogshit. Then Ghia introduced this fizzy beverage a few months ago, and I’ve been loving it. Great gift; I’ve been bringing bottles to parties. The no-added sugar is a big plus.

Best fitness tracker: Whoop 4.0 ($239 for 12 months)

Just kidding—I hate this thing. Unfortunately, it’s the best sleep tracker around.

OTHER UPDATES:

• I’m starting to put together the next batch of Feelgood Routines—at least after this gnarly magazine deadline I’m trying to hit. DM me or leave if a comment if there is anyone you want to see featured—especially if you know a cool surfer who isn’t completely redpilled.

• Recently I learned that tattoos are good for your immune system and might even give you a temporary metabolism boost because of all the healing required. If you are getting a tattoo soon I’d love to chat with you? Or maybe this is a good excuse to get something new…

• I started my new temp job as managing editor at SSENSE. The best part is the New York office is conveniently close to my gym. Follow them on IG for stories, etc.

Anyway, thanks as always for reading HEAVIES. Consider becoming a paid subscriber if you enjoyed this post or found it useful for just $5.62 a month, which is the cost of a single cold-brew coffee (tip not included).