Designing a Practical Routine for Farmer Strength

A very simple workout plan.

Welcome to HEAVIES, a modern and spiritual Substack about health and wellness. Apologies that this post is a little later than I’d like this week (deadlines). But I’ve interviewed some extremely cool people about how they work out and what they eat and will be dropping the first edition of that routine series later this week. Anyway:

A few years ago I interviewed Yo-Yo Ma, and talking to the best cellist in the world helped me internalize an important lesson about self-directed learning and reaching your goals. Here, for example, is how he learned how to play Bach’s “Prélude (from Suite No. 1)” at just four years old: 

With the cello in particular, [his father] instilled in young Yo-Yo a valuable lesson: that true greatness, in its most exalted form, can only be unlocked via tiny achievable increments. Dad believed in parsing the grandiose into the practical, so young Yo-Yo learned “Prélude” by practicing just two measures a day, and no more than that. “I found this method ideal,” Ma told the New Yorker in 1989, “because I didn’t like to work hard.” 

I also don’t like to work hard, at least not all the time, which is why I’ve become a big believer in setting easy goals in order to reach the lofty ones.

The lofty goal right now is to get FARMER STRONG by the end of summer, which might read as a little trad bro but to my mind is super practical. Between having a two-year old (who, on his current growth trajectory, will be taller than me by the time he’s five) and my latent desire to go beast mode in the ring, I’d like my body to be lithe and sinewy and dense, yet still possess the explosive ability to lift a tractor wheel should the occasion call for it. (And, purely for vanity purposes, I’d like the Bruce Lee build.) 

How does one unlock farmer strength, especially if you’re writing little Substack posts instead of tossing bales of hay into the back of a Ford F-150 in the hot sun all day?

After [soft, embarrassed voice] *doing my research* I’ve landed on a new daily kettlebell routine—specifically, a modified version of Simple and Sinister (100 swings + 10 Turkish get-ups), which combines both explosive and slow compound movements. I wanted to design a practical strength routine that:

1. Was relatively mindless. I want to go full dummy mode.

2. Could be completed in 15 to 20 minutes.

3. Easy enough that I could do it five days a week without the need for a rest day in between… like a farmer… which would theoretically trigger a different kind of adaptation versus doing heavier strength work two to three times a week.

4. Didn’t require a barbell rack.  

Which brings me to the little, less squishy and yet very achievable goal: Do this routine Monday to Friday.

I ran this idea by my friend Ray, one of the coaches at my gym and a StrongFirst-certified kettlebell instructor, who had the good idea to add weight variation into the mix. So here’s what I’m going to be doing for the month of July (in addition to hitting bags, pads, sparring, clinch, etc.). (For reference I’m 135 pounds.) I’ll update HEAVIES at the beginning of August on how this experiment went, but until then…

GAYO’S STOLEN FARMBOY VALOR KETTLEBELL ROUTINE

(Yeehaw.)

Days 1 and 3 (Easy)